Don't let life happen to you without making things happen in your life for YOU.
What is your immediate reaction when someone tells you a sad story? If you empathize or even sympathize at all, we may immediately place excuses for them. It's understandable. Maybe they were abused as a child, so this serves as an excuse for them to not be successful. Maybe their story is as dark as childhood molestation so this brings further excuses that we allow ourselves to place on them, limiting what we think they are capable of. I'm here to change your perspective on this entire situation. Life happens. Events occur, sickness holds you back. Poverty and financial situations in general set up roadblocks for certain accomplishments and goals that you may want to achieve. I GET that. I understand that while I have a certain amount of statistics against me, I also have a certain privilege that I was born into so while I acknowledge how hard life gets, I also understand that I have been blessed tremendously. I want to preface this post with that in case I come across as insensitive in anyway. I understand that others have it worse but this is written FOR you, not against you. I'm here to change how you think, to challenge your perspective. Stop Limiting Others When I worked with foster children, I made sure to listen to their stories with compassion, to save my story for later, and to challenge them to dig deeper. 1.) Listening. If you're truly listening to a story, you're not listening to respond. Once I realized I was listening to respond, I approached the concept differently and it allowed them to open up more. People recognize when you're listening and thinking about your own response. Listen fully. 2.) Save your story. When someone is sharing their story, in that moment they want it to be about them. Yes, it seems selfish. But allowing them to heal may mean allowing them to be selfish. It's important they know you understand but it's not important to them in that moment to hear that you had it worse. 3.) Challenge them. After they share their story and they've been given time to feel the weight of their emotions, challenge them to dig deeper. Dig deeper into how it impacts their life, how they can make it their platform, and how they can still succeed. We are not doing anyone any justice by placing terrible limits on them. This entire subject dives into the subject of racism, sexism, etc. It's a deep subject. When we only scratch the surface of a topic, we are not doing anyone any favors. Life was not meant to be lived passively. We are active participants. Traumatic events happen. Some of the most successful people that I know have had terrible things happen to them. These are the moments that pushed them into the person that they are today. They didn't succeed DESPITE the circumstances; they succeeded BECAUSE of it. They allowed it to be their platform, their push, their why. When we choose to start seeing people beyond their circumstances, their skin color, even their sexual orientation, we push them to dig deeper for themselves. It is not up to us to decide who they can be or should be but it can be because of us that they become better and do better for themselves and their future or current family. Make life happen for you. Don't just let life happen. XOXO
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What seemingly small decision are you making today based off of a temporary situation?
Yesterday, I had to remind myself that the work I'm doing is for the long run. I needed a break this week but I've been tempted to throw in the towel. Growth takes time. Good things take time. I've been working very hard for months on something and while I may want immediate results, the reality is that it takes time to grow and develop. Yesterday, I took a break, grabbed my running shoes and ran out the frustration. As I ran, I reflected on how much I have grown as a person and how better my life is now. Instead of giving up this time, I'm taking active measures to ensure my success. I have a couple of things I would like to focus on. In the past, I've become overwhelmed with how much I had on my plate. This time, I'm learning to take breaks instead of making a permanent decision based off of a temporary situation. I temporarily feel discouraged but I often feel motivated and excited so I have to remember that my ups right now are more than my downs. A "small" decision we may choose to make today would be to not work on any of your goals at all because you aren't motivated. Here are some things that I do when I feel momentarily defeated:
Moving to Corpus Christi was honestly a spontaneous decision. I didn't plan it very well and a lot of events happened that almost kept me from coming. My biggest moments in life have happened since living here. If I had given up and left when I wanted to, I wouldn't have met my husband. I wouldn't have had my son. I wouldn't have made incredible friends. I wouldn't have been offered this great opportunity I'm pursuing. I wouldn't have been pushed in my former career, stretching me into the person I am today. I made so many connections that will benefit me in the future. Right when we are about to experience a breakthrough is often when we want to give up. Your breakthrough might be around the corner. We cannot see the entirety of our timeline. Trust the process. Grow through the process. Sometimes we temporarily feel angry or upset with someone over something that has been said. I'm learning to let it go. Don't speak in anger because what is said cannot be taken back. A temporary feeling is not worth the pain you could cause a loved one. My mee maw used to say "A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips" referring to eating food and gaining weight. I tell myself instead "A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the heart." Even when forgiven, words can still sting. Be careful about what you speak to yourself and to others in the heat of a temporary moment. One of my closest friends has always told me not to make permanent decisions based off of temporary situations and that little saying is what gets me through life most of the time. Don't lose hope. This process was meant to strengthen you; it wasn't meant to last forever. |